Thoughts on Comparison: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Note: Although this post in mainly written about my PhD and science communication/blogging experiences, it can be applied to any personal or professional situation.

We all compare ourselves to others at one time or another. We all feel like someone else has a better job than us, a better home, a better body… there is no end to the list of factors we may envy. To be honest, if you don’t compare yourself to anyone about anything ever, then, are you even human? Jokes aside, it seems like it is human nature to compare, and some people are susceptible to this way more than others.

This week I was browsing Instagram and was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense that I wasn’t ‘promoting my blog well enough’, and felt snowed under with how fast blogger social media appears to move.

How do these amazing scientists have time to manage various platforms, whilst also doing their PhD/day jobs?

How do they keep up with tweet threads when they move so quickly?

How to they have time to endlessly scroll through feeds and engage with everyone?

How do they think up all of this blog content for various social media channels AND do their lab work AND write such original blog posts weekly?

How do they have so many followers????

This prompted me to post an Instagram story asking my followers whether they also felt like this. Unsurprisingly, a number of fellow bloggers replied to my story. Surprisingly, some of these were having the same thoughts, and were the people that I was comparing myself to. Isn’t that funny?

What is strange about comparison is that we are always told NOT to do it. We are made to feel guilty, and like we’re surrendering to ‘negative thoughts’, which only makes us feel worse. And although I agree that in many circumstances it can be extremely toxic, I think that from a career stand point, it can also be a good thing (IF managed). Like everything in life, it is all about moderation and balance. Hear me out…

The Good – using comparison as a driving force (without endulging in it) can help to push and motivate you. Without envying anyone and doubting yourself, comparing yourself to others can be a way of finding inspiration to better yourself, or even help to find a constructive solution. There's nothing wrong with healthy competition.

The Bad – the bad thing about comparison is that you usually compare the worst thing about yourself with the best thing about someone else. This is important to remember. We also end up falling victim to the social media illusion, where everyone else’s curated version of their life or work appears better than yours.

The Ugly – comparison becomes ugly when it is taking over your thoughts every day, affecting your self-worth, productivity, and when it brings its trusty old friend ‘resentment’ along for the ride. This is no longer professionally constructive and will only hinder your own progress. Thus making you feel even less accomplished and sucking you into a cycle of destructive thoughts.

My rationale behind posting this was more to help my fellow bloggers (and anyone else reading) take comfort in the fact that we all feel like this sometimes, especially in highly competitive environments such as research/academia, or when you’re jumping into a new professional world (like blogging or science communication) with no one to guide you. I also wanted to document this in some way for myself. 

Everyone has their own journey towards their end goals. Some people’s goals may even be different, so why expect to follow the same path? So many variables in life (and the lab) make each journey unique. Plus, work-wise, everyone works in different ways, has different strengths and are productive at different times; this is why most businesses have teams of people with different roles. The unfortunate thing is that in a PhD, you are usually juggling most of those roles (also see Lisa's post here). 

I’m finding it hard to sum up this post, as it really could be discussed at length (yes, this isn't the most structured post). I hope if you're reading this, it might help you to organise your thoughts, or even just feel less alone. Let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!